The Power Of Mentoring Our Youth – 3 actions we can all take

I recently chatted with this group of young people in the TGV (bullet train) in France. These young people shared that they were from the disadvantaged Parisian ‘banlieu’ on their way to ‘host families’ on holiday to see for the first time the mountain or the sea. Many had never been anywhere on holiday. They were really excited, fun and very interested in sharing their joy with me. They were so engaging and fun.

We hear a lot about protecting our mental health, the damages of ill-health, the devastating consequences of bullying for children and adults, the impact of poor housing. We don’t, however, hear much about the impact of poverty on children’s and adults’ health. Research shows that poverty is more damaging to mental and physical health than cigarettes, alcohol and obesity.

In the UK, over 14 million people (1 in 5 of our population) live in poverty, of which 8.2 million are working-age adults, 4.1 million children & 1.9 million are pensioners. 8 million people live in poverty in families where one person is working. In the UK we have a very low standard of living!

Since I live in London, England, I receive information from some of the charitable organisations I support and they provide some chilling statistics. 1 in 4 or 4.1 million children are affected by poverty in the UK today and that’s more than last year. 50 per cent of families in the bottom income quintile would like, but cannot afford, to take their children on holiday for one week a year.

The ‘Child Poverty Action Group‘ (CPAG) reports that “when kids grow up poor they miss out – and so do the rest of us. They miss out on the things most children take for granted: warm clothes, school trips, having friends over for tea. They do less well at school and earn less as adults.”

Child Poverty in London, UK

After having studied and lived in many other capitals in the world I chose to make London my home for so many reasons including diversity & inclusion, relative safety, the vibrant artistic, business and social mix, and amazing opportunities. I did not know, however, until a few years ago that London has the highest rate of child poverty of any English region, and there are as many poor children in London as in all of Scotland and Wales (CPAG). And “two thirds of children living in poverty in the UK are in working households, or where at least one adult is in work.”

Moreover, in London, the employment rate of mothers is much lower than elsewhere in the UK. The lack of part-time jobs, flexible working options and flexible childcare have been cited as possible reasons. It’s therefore great to see some companies making a difference by acknowledging the need to offer flexibility in employment opportunities for all.

The importance of Education, Coaching & Mentoring

I agree with MIT economist David Autor that “much of our present inequality stems from disparities in education”. Coming from a disadvantaged background it was the single biggest differentiator for us transcending our conditions.

Psychologically when one lives in poverty one often sees no hope. Mentoring or coaching others can make a huge difference.

3 Tips on How You Can Become A Mentor Now!

Something anyone can do is give back – of themselves, their skills, their time and life experience – via mentoring and coaching.

We have offered free mentorship opportunities and free coaching for young adults going through hardship since the beginning at Your Alchemists. I have coached young adults with mental health challenges, including dealing with obsessive compulsion (OCD), anxiety, depression and addictions. The solutions are often simple, the effects immediate and everyone can start with offering three gifts of themselves as below:

1. Non-judgemental presence: we can all offer compassionate listening and allowing the other person to share their whole self. We can imagine being in someone else’s shoes and in that 30min or 1 hour we have with the other person just listen and receive what they share. It does not take having a counselling degree. We are all wired with this very human capability.
2. Watching Our ‘Self-Talk’: we can all learn to watch our ‘inner chatter’ or ‘self-talk’. We introduce simple techniques based onThird Wave Cognitive Behaviour Therapy models. These incorporate identifying our thinking and emotions but using compassion and mindfulness focused solutions. A very simple principle is that it is often not the situation which causes the negative emotions but what we make via what we think the situation to mean. Learning to work with each situation in this way and helping the other person challenge their assumptions is also very effective and empowering.
3. ‘Growing’ Mind-set and Plastic Brain: this then leads to what Dr Carol Dweck referred to as the growth mind-set and Dr Dan Siegel’s ‘Plastic Brain’ whereby we have the power through changing our thoughts to change our behaviour and ourselves, re-wiring our brain. Some very easy knowledge we can all acquire is by just learning a bit more about how the brain works under stress. One does not need to have a degree in neuroscience to understand this.
4. Acceptance This leads to acceptance of what is. The above steps do not mean we always have a growth mind-set or that we’ll always be able to help, but we can do our bit. Carol Dweck’s research is very clear on this. We are human beings and our openness to learning and being flexible is on a continuum. Sometimes we will be able to be open and generous with others, other times we might close up, and that’s ok. We do our best moment by moment.

Your Alchemists will launch a free mentorship programme to coach young adults (aged 18 to 25) from disadvantaged backgrounds or going through hardship. Email us if our values resonate with yours and you’d like to apply!

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If you, or your organisation, are interested in learning more about how you can effect change starting with one individual at a time, how to positively impact disadvantaged groups with mind-set change, get in touch with us. We have over 18 years of experience of working with and devising evidenced–based interventions for young adults, young adults and children with a Learning Disability and/or Learning Difficulties. Our founder, Irena, currently work as an assistant clinical psychologist part-time in Autism. Get in touch.