Does Your Path Have a Heart? Finding and Doing What You Love
“Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate and leave the path. A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.”
Carlos Castenada, The Teachings of Don Juan, a yaqui way of Knowledge
How do we know our path has a ‘heart’?
It is by how we feel.
If we feel joy. When what we feel, think and say are aligned with our values it is a sign we might be on the right path. Of course, throughout our life, we will take many paths. However, learning to discern decisions that we make out of ‘fear’ (or wounded ego) and ‘heart’ (truly connected with who we are) is the determining factor and most essential skill I and countless clients have had to develop to lead a fulfilling life.
In my work with clients, I use an integrative model I have developed after fifteen years of psychological, meditation & yoga, stage and public speaking and executive coaching to offer a different type of coaching to help you brainstorm and realise your vision.
Clients from such diverse fields as finance, healthcare, creative arts, psychology and science have benefited from my method and have either created new roles in their existing workplace, launched new enterprises/businesses or changed careers entirely. You can read the many testimonials on my website here
Where do I start?
“Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore, you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary.
Carlos Castenada, The Teachings of Don Juan, a yaqui way of Knowledge
Most coaching and some therapeutic modalities tend to get us to work from our intellect and analytical minds, from our thoughts, “to think our way through” our vision and goals.
Whilst it is essential to use our intellect and analytical mind, we can’t be creative and analytical at the same time as both processes are different. Being creative is imagining, envisioning freely. Making our dream a reality involves discernment, self-reflection and critical thinking. We also can’t be ‘in fear’ and ‘feel connected’ and ‘chose love’ at the same time.
The most important determining factor which is rarely addressed in career support is your psychology, and if you are this way inclined, your spirituality. As the saying goes ‘you take yourself wherever you go’. My approach combines my rigorous training and experience in all of the Arts, Business and Science to offer you a very unique way in helping you making sense of your current situation as well as as help you take the right steps to finding and realising your calling.
My approach: Connected Coaching
“Failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me.”
J.K. Rowling
My approach is a process allowing us to have equal access to both the right side (creative part) of our brain, and space to freely imagine possibilities, as well as the left side of the brain (analytical) to realise our vision, remaining connected all the way through to the bodily sensations this process will awaken.
This is easier said than done and requires a coach practitioner with some psychological and somatic work awareness and experience because change and all it encompasses is mostly feared and can lead to the opposite desired effect in the client. The client needs to be open and learn to have ‘inner resources’ solid enough to help them counter the fear of change.
What I have observed happens in most therapeutic, coaching or brainstorming sessions when there is an over-reliance on the ‘head’ and analytical side, feelings and bodily sensations which arise, are repressed by the client. Or clients have not learnt to feel and name emotions.
Clients may express and focus on the limitations they come face to face with ( challenges, “the now state”, logistics or the how) and coaches might acknowledge this and allow some of the creative process to unfold. However, those projections and concerns about a hypothetical future and negative mind-chatter/mind-set are not addressed.
Change is becoming the norm nowadays but is still hard for most people to navigate. Change will trigger fears and emotions during the “brainstorming” process, which requires expertise outside many coaches’ capabilities and remit. Often these fears are “irrational” and based on false beliefs, which if they could be worked through as they arise, could provide an immense breakthrough for the client. Often, difficult emotions are not worked through which is how the creative process (ideas, dreams and possibilities) are halted. The clients can’t see how they themselves stop themselves from being all they can be.
Connecting Coaching Process and Steps
“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle…”
Steve Jobs
During our sessions I facilitate a process which helps you combine both your analytical and creative minds whilst ensuring you are connected to yourself to receive your own answers. When limitations, false beliefs or anything blocking the flow arises, I am trained and experienced in helping clients work through these to resolution.
The process is therefore more organic allowing you to unearth the dreams and desires you might have disallowed whilst assisting you in working through any limitations in the moment. Having created and led my own businesses and projects, I understand what is required to make a project a reality.
The steps I take you through are summarised below:
- Step 1: Relaxation and Balance
- Step 2: The present
- Step 3: The vision
- Step 4: Keys and skills
- Step 5: Action plan
- Step 6: Evaluation
- Step 1 includes various techniques and is used throughout
When we allow ourselves to relax connecting to the present moment, we are centred and peaceful. We are able to sense (hear/visualise) clearly, observe some of our erroneous thinking, assumptions and resulting emotions non-judgementally and work through them. In this relaxed and connected state, we also have access to our intuition. We accompany you in this process helping you to gradually learn to open to sensing more subtle and heightened sensations (bodily sensations, images, sounds, desires), and to identify erroneous thinking and resulting feelings safely.
The connecting coaching formula I have arrived at is proven and tested, first by myself and then by my clients, as the testimonies throughout my website demonstrate. I was able to successfully graduate from four entirely different disciplines (Arts and Movement, Business, Science and Spiritual studies) which required completely different skill sets. I have also practiced in different industries in very prominent positions as a non-native of these countries.
Outputs Received
Whilst you are relaxed and centred within yourself, I compile outputs for you, which you will take away. In step 2, the “present” slate, you might be sharing the world as you see it “now”, whilst in step 3, you sense and inhabit the “vision” of your ideal life. In step 4, we identify obstacles and remedies leading to step 5 your action plan. Step 6 is about accountability.
You will receive an analysis of your current situation, obstacles, any knowledge/training required with the keys and skills to make your vision a reality. The programme I design for you will help you achieve your vision with realistic and achievable goals you can action immediately.
This process takes approximately 3 hours (allowing Q&A and debrief) and can be done over Zoom. Your investment is £390 for the 3 hours (including a copy of the outputs drawn by hand during the session).
Living From a More Authentic Place Leads to A More Joyful Life
This is a process and a journey. Where our process differs is that it goes deeper enabling clients to get in touch with inherent gifts and talents they might not touch upon during a more traditional process. Once these are revealed and the possibilities have become conscious, clients are able to start creating from a more authentic place. This leads to live a more authentic and joyful life.
Connect with me if you would like to learn more and start your journey toward self-mastery and authenticity.